My blog has moved to www.mindbeautyspirit.com
There you will find daily tips on how to look good and feel better from the inside out. In addition, you will find Videos and posts from the Mind, Beauty, Spirit contributors.
Thank you for your continued support~ Have a beautiful day!
Michelle Phillips
Friday, March 5, 2010
Monday, November 23, 2009
Gift ideas for the Holidays
I had a wonderful morning in Philadelphia! Made an appearance on the 10! Show on the NBC station in town. It's so much fun meeting such interesting people while I am traveling. Between my hosting job at SHOP NBC, my Beauty and Style segments that I conduct nationwide on morning talk shows, and my Harry and David holiday tours...I work with some pretty incredible people. Today I shared some advice on Holiday Gifts that are affordable. Harry and David has outstanding gifts at affordable prices! Most people think that Harry and David is expensive! No way! They offer 100 gifts under $50.00 and lots more under $30.00. Their packaging is fabulous and their gourmet fruits and foods are to die for! www.harryanddavid.com
Happy Shopping!
Happy Shopping!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Spring Clean Your Make Up Bag
Spring is a time of renewal and rebirth as the change in season brings about the beauty hidden by the harshness of winter. As a part of that renewal, many of us feel the need to air out the house, clean out our closets, and get reorganized. When it comes to reviving our b spring and summer beauty regime, it’s an important time to go through our make up bags (in my case drawers and medicine cabinets) and get rid of old cosmetics. The pot of gold at the end of that rainbow is that when you finish cleaning, you’ll have space to add a few things for the warmer months to come.
Here is a friendly reminder of what to toss, what to keep, and some fresh ideas to add to your bag.
Foundation:
Foundations come in many formulas; liquids, powders, cream, to name a few. If kept out of the sunlight and heat, liquids and creams can last up to a year. If your foundation starts to separate before that time, then it is time to toss it. Powders can go bad as well. If the powder changes color and forms a hard and crusty surface…it‘s done too. If your foundations seem to be going bad long before their time, try using disposable sponges and powder puffs. Replace them at least once a week. And keep your fingers out of foundation! The oil and germs from your fingers will contaminate the product. Applying foundation with a sponge, brush, or puff (depending on the type of foundation you wear) will give your skin a smoother more even look and your product will last twice as long.
The same rules apply for concealers. I highly recommend applying concealer with a brush or sponge to avoid spoiling before its time.
For the spring months, I suggest mixing your liquid foundation with a moisturizer (with an SPF of at least 30) to create your own tinted moisturizer. Combine the products together before applying. I pour a small amount of each in the palm of my (clean) hand and apply with a make up sponge. The combination will give your skin a healthy glow without a heavy look and you will have the protection of an SPF on your face! It is crucial that we wear at least an SPF of 30 or higher every day!!! It is very important not only to ward off possible skin cancer but to avoid fine lines and wrinkles.
The Vein Center of Tampa Bay carries the best moisturizers with SPFs on the market! They range from and SPF 30-SPF 60 and are great for your skin. I use the Obagi SPF 30 every day.
Foundations are a personal preference. I suggest purchasing your foundation at a department store. It is important to buy one that is right for your skin type, has the amount of coverage that you prefer, and is a perfect match for your skin tone. Glo Minerals is one of my favorite foundations because it is good for your skin.
Blush and Eye Shadows
The average lifespan of blush and eye shadows are one to two years. Creams and liquids will last up to one year and powders up to two years. The same rules apply for shadows and blush colors as do the powder foundations. The key to making them last is using clean eye shadow and blush brushes. It is important to clean your brushes weekly! Wash them with warm soap and water and air dry, or use a tiny little blow dryer. This will keep your brushes looking good for years to come and keep your shadows and blush colors lasting for a long time. Dirty brushes will contaminate your colors and can lead to more break outs.
Color is color all day long. I have eye shadows and blush colors, which I use professionally, from the drugstore and from high end cosmetic companies. It is all a matter of preference. Just remember that the warmer temperatures will make the pigments in the shades darken, on your face, when your skin produces more oil. When choosing your colors, think light and bright for Spring and Summer.
Lipstick:
Lipstick generally lasts around 9 months. If it turns dry, smells rubbery, and just feels plain yucky on your lips, by all means let it go! Lipstick should be luxurious. Exposing your lipstick to heat is a definite no-no. Also, keep in mind, if you have a cold sore, or any other lip infection, you must throw away your lipstick once it comes in to contact with it. Disposable lip brushes (found at Sally’s Beauty Supply) or Q-Tips are great applicators should you need them while you have a cold sore…this will spare your lipstick.
Another important tip…If you’re going to the beach or hanging by the pool, purchase a tinted lip moisturizer with an SPF. Gloss and lipstick will not protect your lips from burning. Sun blisters will look like a cold sore, a definite vacation killer!
Mascara
I recommend tossing mascara after three to four months. When your mascara starts drying up and becomes clumpy, it is time to throw it away! You don’t want to take a chance on eye products. If mascaras are old you run the risk of getting infections and sties. Avoid pumping your mascara wands into the tube and make sure you close the cap tightly after each use. NEVER share your mascara with anyone!!!
You don’t have to spend a lot on mascara. I use drugstore brands, personally and professionally, for all of my Television and Print shoots. My favorite mascaras are made by L’Oreal. My new favorite find is called Stiletto Mascara by Maybelline.
It is a beautiful time of year to reorganize and refresh. As they say in the Ancient Chinese of world Feng Shui, when you clear out the clutter, you make room for new things to come. Yes ladies, that means shopping!
So get to it…out with the old and in with the new YOU!
Here is a friendly reminder of what to toss, what to keep, and some fresh ideas to add to your bag.
Foundation:
Foundations come in many formulas; liquids, powders, cream, to name a few. If kept out of the sunlight and heat, liquids and creams can last up to a year. If your foundation starts to separate before that time, then it is time to toss it. Powders can go bad as well. If the powder changes color and forms a hard and crusty surface…it‘s done too. If your foundations seem to be going bad long before their time, try using disposable sponges and powder puffs. Replace them at least once a week. And keep your fingers out of foundation! The oil and germs from your fingers will contaminate the product. Applying foundation with a sponge, brush, or puff (depending on the type of foundation you wear) will give your skin a smoother more even look and your product will last twice as long.
The same rules apply for concealers. I highly recommend applying concealer with a brush or sponge to avoid spoiling before its time.
For the spring months, I suggest mixing your liquid foundation with a moisturizer (with an SPF of at least 30) to create your own tinted moisturizer. Combine the products together before applying. I pour a small amount of each in the palm of my (clean) hand and apply with a make up sponge. The combination will give your skin a healthy glow without a heavy look and you will have the protection of an SPF on your face! It is crucial that we wear at least an SPF of 30 or higher every day!!! It is very important not only to ward off possible skin cancer but to avoid fine lines and wrinkles.
The Vein Center of Tampa Bay carries the best moisturizers with SPFs on the market! They range from and SPF 30-SPF 60 and are great for your skin. I use the Obagi SPF 30 every day.
Foundations are a personal preference. I suggest purchasing your foundation at a department store. It is important to buy one that is right for your skin type, has the amount of coverage that you prefer, and is a perfect match for your skin tone. Glo Minerals is one of my favorite foundations because it is good for your skin.
Blush and Eye Shadows
The average lifespan of blush and eye shadows are one to two years. Creams and liquids will last up to one year and powders up to two years. The same rules apply for shadows and blush colors as do the powder foundations. The key to making them last is using clean eye shadow and blush brushes. It is important to clean your brushes weekly! Wash them with warm soap and water and air dry, or use a tiny little blow dryer. This will keep your brushes looking good for years to come and keep your shadows and blush colors lasting for a long time. Dirty brushes will contaminate your colors and can lead to more break outs.
Color is color all day long. I have eye shadows and blush colors, which I use professionally, from the drugstore and from high end cosmetic companies. It is all a matter of preference. Just remember that the warmer temperatures will make the pigments in the shades darken, on your face, when your skin produces more oil. When choosing your colors, think light and bright for Spring and Summer.
Lipstick:
Lipstick generally lasts around 9 months. If it turns dry, smells rubbery, and just feels plain yucky on your lips, by all means let it go! Lipstick should be luxurious. Exposing your lipstick to heat is a definite no-no. Also, keep in mind, if you have a cold sore, or any other lip infection, you must throw away your lipstick once it comes in to contact with it. Disposable lip brushes (found at Sally’s Beauty Supply) or Q-Tips are great applicators should you need them while you have a cold sore…this will spare your lipstick.
Another important tip…If you’re going to the beach or hanging by the pool, purchase a tinted lip moisturizer with an SPF. Gloss and lipstick will not protect your lips from burning. Sun blisters will look like a cold sore, a definite vacation killer!
Mascara
I recommend tossing mascara after three to four months. When your mascara starts drying up and becomes clumpy, it is time to throw it away! You don’t want to take a chance on eye products. If mascaras are old you run the risk of getting infections and sties. Avoid pumping your mascara wands into the tube and make sure you close the cap tightly after each use. NEVER share your mascara with anyone!!!
You don’t have to spend a lot on mascara. I use drugstore brands, personally and professionally, for all of my Television and Print shoots. My favorite mascaras are made by L’Oreal. My new favorite find is called Stiletto Mascara by Maybelline.
It is a beautiful time of year to reorganize and refresh. As they say in the Ancient Chinese of world Feng Shui, when you clear out the clutter, you make room for new things to come. Yes ladies, that means shopping!
So get to it…out with the old and in with the new YOU!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Pampering Mom for Less!
Ok… I love to be showered with gifts on Mother’s Day…but to be completely honest….my ultimate gift would be a magic show, I want my husband to play David Copperfield and make himself and the kids disappear for a day.
Seriously my ultimate gift would be a day of peace and quiet. As a mother of three…I am a chef, maid, chauffeur, psychologist, nurse, and cheerleader, (if Dad has his way that is)
From the informal poll I took with my friends our perfect gift would be relaxing while our homes are being cleaned, laundry done, and meals cooked… not just for the day…but for the whole week. I know what you’re thinking, good luck with that, so I have come up with an idea.
An ideal gift would be a coupon book for Mom. Husbands and the kids can make a little coupon book that gives mom a total break anytime she chooses to redeem them.
A few ideas are: Day off from carpool duty, no laundry for a week, massage from Dad (for more than 5 minutes husbands!), movie night (Mom’s choice…get your tissues ready), no cooking for a day!, ½ off housework, get one kid to clean their room, the second one free.
And listen, breakfast in bed is still a great idea! How about purchasing a heart shaped cookie cutter to make mom either pancakes, English muffins, or French toast! My daughter loves to do this. She uses cookie cutters to cut out heart shaped muffins and uses chocolate syrup to decorate with a smiley face. Sure it leaves a bigger mess than the mortgage crisis but it melts me every time. For some amazing gourmet breakfast treats order online at www.wolfermans.com
Keepsake gifts are so special. A few years ago, I went online to photobucket.com and ordered my Mom a coffee mug with my children’s picture on it. She drinks out of it every day! I want one now. It is affordable and only takes a couple days turnaround time to arrive in the mail. You just have to be sure to get an updated picture on the mug every year or two or you’ll get freaked out when they’re drinking a mocha-chino next to you and their baby picture is on it.
And guys…whether your Mom is across town, across the country or sadly still across the hall, I have done a search on some great gifts that are really affordable and look like you spent a ton of money…Harry and David. (www.harryanddavid.com) I love chocolate and gourmet food! If you check out their gifts online, you will see how beautifully packaged their gifts are and they are chock full of some of the most well known gourmet foods in the country. The secret is it will look like you spent a ton of money…and you didn’t. But doesn’t mom deserve the best?
Seriously my ultimate gift would be a day of peace and quiet. As a mother of three…I am a chef, maid, chauffeur, psychologist, nurse, and cheerleader, (if Dad has his way that is)
From the informal poll I took with my friends our perfect gift would be relaxing while our homes are being cleaned, laundry done, and meals cooked… not just for the day…but for the whole week. I know what you’re thinking, good luck with that, so I have come up with an idea.
An ideal gift would be a coupon book for Mom. Husbands and the kids can make a little coupon book that gives mom a total break anytime she chooses to redeem them.
A few ideas are: Day off from carpool duty, no laundry for a week, massage from Dad (for more than 5 minutes husbands!), movie night (Mom’s choice…get your tissues ready), no cooking for a day!, ½ off housework, get one kid to clean their room, the second one free.
And listen, breakfast in bed is still a great idea! How about purchasing a heart shaped cookie cutter to make mom either pancakes, English muffins, or French toast! My daughter loves to do this. She uses cookie cutters to cut out heart shaped muffins and uses chocolate syrup to decorate with a smiley face. Sure it leaves a bigger mess than the mortgage crisis but it melts me every time. For some amazing gourmet breakfast treats order online at www.wolfermans.com
Keepsake gifts are so special. A few years ago, I went online to photobucket.com and ordered my Mom a coffee mug with my children’s picture on it. She drinks out of it every day! I want one now. It is affordable and only takes a couple days turnaround time to arrive in the mail. You just have to be sure to get an updated picture on the mug every year or two or you’ll get freaked out when they’re drinking a mocha-chino next to you and their baby picture is on it.
And guys…whether your Mom is across town, across the country or sadly still across the hall, I have done a search on some great gifts that are really affordable and look like you spent a ton of money…Harry and David. (www.harryanddavid.com) I love chocolate and gourmet food! If you check out their gifts online, you will see how beautifully packaged their gifts are and they are chock full of some of the most well known gourmet foods in the country. The secret is it will look like you spent a ton of money…and you didn’t. But doesn’t mom deserve the best?
Thursday, March 19, 2009
You only get ONE first impression
A few weeks ago I was trying to think about what style and beauty tips I should give on some upcoming TV appearances and was coming up blank. I decided to give my brain a break and let the Florida sun put some much needed color back in my face...(fully protected of course! ;) No sooner did I get my lawn chair leaned back just right when my cell rang. I was going to ignore it but it was a girlfriend 911. One of my inner circle girlfriends had a clothing crisis and needed my help. She had a major job interview and had "nothing to wear". Of course we always have something to wear, but is it something appropriate. I went in to image consultant trauma mode. Step 1. Stay Calm...Step 2. Stay out of the Haagen Daas... The rest came easy...
I've been giving advice as a corporate and TV image consultant for years and it really didn't hit me until my friend called that this was the ideal time to spread this knowledge around. We hear every day that it's a tough job market, there are stories of jobs getting thousands of applicants. You have a few seconds to make that all important first impression. First you have to think about what your clothes say about you...do they say "will work for salary and benefits" or... will work for food?You want to be dressed professionally for the profession you are going after. There is such a thing as being over-qualified and definitely under dressed. Basic blacks and blues. For men and women conservative dress is the same. Remember you're dressing for a job and not a date or a party. Don't show cleavage, especially not men. Pants or conservative skirt and matching jacket are a must.
The rule of thumb is that you should invest in three core pieces for a professional polished look: (Show Still of core wardrobe pieces)
You should have in your closet at least 1 or more of the following
1 black or navy blue pair of dress pants or skirt (only a few inches above the knee)
1 Black or Navy Blue Jacket
1 Crème, Navy, or Grey colored button down sweater (to be used as a substitute for a jacket
Solid colored blouses and shell (Colors should be basic, no bold or loud prints)
These core pieces can be mixed and matched to create an entire wardrobe for second and third interviews as well as professional attire for your new job.
Accessorizing is very important. Keep the bling down to a minimum. Jewelry should be on the conservative side…leave the big hoops and loud bangle bracelets at home, wear low heels, hosiery if you wear a skirt, and a professional bag or briefcase that you can put your resume, daytime, cell phone and wallet in. It is not the least bit professional carrying ten things and your handbag into a meeting. (show example of stuff piled up).. Men the only jewelry I would suggest is a watch. It shows that you care about time...and being a stickler for tradition, they say you can judge a man by his shoes and his watch
Ladies, you can't always spend money if you are looking for a job. Try the discount stores. If you buy new clothes and may return them if you don't get hired, at least tuck or cut off the tags! (Unless of course the job you are applying for is tour guide at the Minnie Pearl museum)
Smell. That's important and here's one place I think the same rules should apply to interviewing and dating. Perfume and cologne should be for you and someone very close to you! You shouldn't go around like Pepe LePew. Remember the skunk from Looney Tunes that had the green trail everywhere he went. Plus if you chose some scent that reminds the interviewer of a bad ex-relationship, you're sunk! And don't smell like smoke. Employers may take that as a sign you'll be on break a lot.
Hair should be neat, and if past shoulder length, I suggest pulling it back away from your face. Half up- or pulled back in a professional pony tail.
Many women are joining the job market either to make ends meet, to chase their dream career, or just get out of the house. Take that precious few minutes to make your first few seconds count!
I've been giving advice as a corporate and TV image consultant for years and it really didn't hit me until my friend called that this was the ideal time to spread this knowledge around. We hear every day that it's a tough job market, there are stories of jobs getting thousands of applicants. You have a few seconds to make that all important first impression. First you have to think about what your clothes say about you...do they say "will work for salary and benefits" or... will work for food?You want to be dressed professionally for the profession you are going after. There is such a thing as being over-qualified and definitely under dressed. Basic blacks and blues. For men and women conservative dress is the same. Remember you're dressing for a job and not a date or a party. Don't show cleavage, especially not men. Pants or conservative skirt and matching jacket are a must.
The rule of thumb is that you should invest in three core pieces for a professional polished look: (Show Still of core wardrobe pieces)
You should have in your closet at least 1 or more of the following
1 black or navy blue pair of dress pants or skirt (only a few inches above the knee)
1 Black or Navy Blue Jacket
1 Crème, Navy, or Grey colored button down sweater (to be used as a substitute for a jacket
Solid colored blouses and shell (Colors should be basic, no bold or loud prints)
These core pieces can be mixed and matched to create an entire wardrobe for second and third interviews as well as professional attire for your new job.
Accessorizing is very important. Keep the bling down to a minimum. Jewelry should be on the conservative side…leave the big hoops and loud bangle bracelets at home, wear low heels, hosiery if you wear a skirt, and a professional bag or briefcase that you can put your resume, daytime, cell phone and wallet in. It is not the least bit professional carrying ten things and your handbag into a meeting. (show example of stuff piled up).. Men the only jewelry I would suggest is a watch. It shows that you care about time...and being a stickler for tradition, they say you can judge a man by his shoes and his watch
Ladies, you can't always spend money if you are looking for a job. Try the discount stores. If you buy new clothes and may return them if you don't get hired, at least tuck or cut off the tags! (Unless of course the job you are applying for is tour guide at the Minnie Pearl museum)
Smell. That's important and here's one place I think the same rules should apply to interviewing and dating. Perfume and cologne should be for you and someone very close to you! You shouldn't go around like Pepe LePew. Remember the skunk from Looney Tunes that had the green trail everywhere he went. Plus if you chose some scent that reminds the interviewer of a bad ex-relationship, you're sunk! And don't smell like smoke. Employers may take that as a sign you'll be on break a lot.
Hair should be neat, and if past shoulder length, I suggest pulling it back away from your face. Half up- or pulled back in a professional pony tail.
Many women are joining the job market either to make ends meet, to chase their dream career, or just get out of the house. Take that precious few minutes to make your first few seconds count!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Get out of the door in a flash!
The average woman spends about 54 minutes getting ready each morning! This is virtually impossible to do while trying to get kids out the door as well as yourself...
I have some great products that can cut your time in half...
First off, in the shower...Use a body wash because it cleanses your skin without stripping moisture like soaps tend to do and then apply Olay In-shower body lotion...you apply while in the shower and rinse...that's it. Not only do you step out of the shower smelling fantastic your body is hydrated.
Next, if you want to save in the morning by not washing and blow drying your hair...I suggest using a dry Shampoo spray (found at Sephora). I suggest that people use this type of product every other day! I have found it extremely useful when I am the stylist on a photo shoot or TV set and I don’t have the luxury of washing the talent's hair. Oscar Blandi Dry Shampoo has gentle starches that absorb excess oil and product build up. It also has proteins and vitamins that strengthen and protect your hair. This type of product will leave your hair smelling fresh and clean… and all you have to do is restyle!
Protect your skin with Per-fect skin perfecting gel is awesome! (Also found at Sephora) This product improves skin tone, reduces appearance of fine lines, reduces redness and enlarged pores...plus it is a smooth sheer color gel that enhances the skins appearance and acts as a sheer foundation. An alternative to foundation, color correctors, and powder all in one! It comes in several colors to match your skin.
Check back for some more time saving products next week!
I have some great products that can cut your time in half...
First off, in the shower...Use a body wash because it cleanses your skin without stripping moisture like soaps tend to do and then apply Olay In-shower body lotion...you apply while in the shower and rinse...that's it. Not only do you step out of the shower smelling fantastic your body is hydrated.
Next, if you want to save in the morning by not washing and blow drying your hair...I suggest using a dry Shampoo spray (found at Sephora). I suggest that people use this type of product every other day! I have found it extremely useful when I am the stylist on a photo shoot or TV set and I don’t have the luxury of washing the talent's hair. Oscar Blandi Dry Shampoo has gentle starches that absorb excess oil and product build up. It also has proteins and vitamins that strengthen and protect your hair. This type of product will leave your hair smelling fresh and clean… and all you have to do is restyle!
Protect your skin with Per-fect skin perfecting gel is awesome! (Also found at Sephora) This product improves skin tone, reduces appearance of fine lines, reduces redness and enlarged pores...plus it is a smooth sheer color gel that enhances the skins appearance and acts as a sheer foundation. An alternative to foundation, color correctors, and powder all in one! It comes in several colors to match your skin.
Check back for some more time saving products next week!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
From Caretaker to taking care of YOU!!!
Perception…is a funny thing. This word has come up many times for me in the last few days. It is my own personal perception that can alter my mood, my feelings, and my entire day. It is interesting how quickly a false perception will create a view of my glass half empty instead of half full. As a mother, a wife, and a career woman, I am always so hard on myself. At times I can be so hard on myself that I feel that I am not doing as well as I should be. Am I a good enough mom, am I a good enough partner, am I really doing what I want to do career wise.
As a mom, I am always hoping that my decisions in raising my children are good enough. I want my kids to be secure, happy, and feel loved. At the same time, I have to draw boundaries and make decisions for them that they are not too happy about. It is during these times that I have worried that I am too hard on them…or in other times, not hard enough. Two teenagers that are entering the world of peer pressure to have sex and do drugs. It is scary out there and they are exposed to so much more than I ever was. In addition, I have two step children that I love as if they are my own flesh and blood, yet they aren’t, and so I have felt that I have to walk a thin line on how to discipline them delicately and at the same time make them aware of how much I value them in my life.
As a partner, I want my love to know that I am always here for him to love, support, and grow with, yet be my own person. As a woman, I feel that my role has always been a caretaker to a fault. It is now that I am finding that I am no good to anyone else unless I take care of myself first. Doing so has always felt selfish. So, I am being selfish. For me, I have found that it is necessary to be selfish, on a certain level, in order to truly be happy within. I have been taking time out to nurture myself emotionally, physically, and mentally and in turn finding that there is so much that I want to do to achieve my personal growth and most importantly give back to the world. That is huge!!! So here I go! I am on that track now and finding that the shift in me is actually creating a more positive atmosphere for my entire family. Lead by example and they will follow (most of the time…I am not expecting a total miracle).
How do you find balance in doing so? Our roles as women have always been to take care of others, nurture our children, and keep our families together. Now we are shifting into greater roles and wanting deeper purpose in our lives. We are like strong Oak trees that grow tall and strong with branches that reach further and further. Yet, at some point we have to feed and fertilize ourselves in order to stay strong and grow taller toward the sky.
In the process I have found myself letting go of the worries of what others think and the drama around me. It is more peaceful, yet lonely at times. When we let go of our perceptions of the past to form new ones, it is scary, yet we become free to soar. It is not an easy path to take. When we begin to shift and grow others around us can become more fearful. The ground can begin to tremble and our foundations can crack a bit. It is ok!! The tremors are normal, the cracks fill in and the ground below becomes stronger to give us a better foundation to rebuild stronger and become more stable.
The first step that I took to nurture myself was to write down the top ten things that I LOVE to do…even if I wasn’t doing them at the time. I didn’t hold back. Try it for yourself…your list could have things such as taking bubble baths, traveling, dancing, making love, having lunch with girlfriends, laughing with your kids, etc. One of mine is fine dining and drinking fine wine. Take a look at what you are doing on that list on an on going basis. If it is nothing or only a few, figure out what it will take to do one of those things this week, another next week. If it is a big thing, such as traveling, etc. then set a goal to make that happen this year. The key is to start doing more for you. There is no better time than now. You will find more fulfillment, peace, and balance in your life when you begin taking time out for you.
Step two…start doing the things you love and work towards living the life you truly want deep down inside.
One of my favorite quotes is “My life…is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.”
-Gilda Radner
As a mom, I am always hoping that my decisions in raising my children are good enough. I want my kids to be secure, happy, and feel loved. At the same time, I have to draw boundaries and make decisions for them that they are not too happy about. It is during these times that I have worried that I am too hard on them…or in other times, not hard enough. Two teenagers that are entering the world of peer pressure to have sex and do drugs. It is scary out there and they are exposed to so much more than I ever was. In addition, I have two step children that I love as if they are my own flesh and blood, yet they aren’t, and so I have felt that I have to walk a thin line on how to discipline them delicately and at the same time make them aware of how much I value them in my life.
As a partner, I want my love to know that I am always here for him to love, support, and grow with, yet be my own person. As a woman, I feel that my role has always been a caretaker to a fault. It is now that I am finding that I am no good to anyone else unless I take care of myself first. Doing so has always felt selfish. So, I am being selfish. For me, I have found that it is necessary to be selfish, on a certain level, in order to truly be happy within. I have been taking time out to nurture myself emotionally, physically, and mentally and in turn finding that there is so much that I want to do to achieve my personal growth and most importantly give back to the world. That is huge!!! So here I go! I am on that track now and finding that the shift in me is actually creating a more positive atmosphere for my entire family. Lead by example and they will follow (most of the time…I am not expecting a total miracle).
How do you find balance in doing so? Our roles as women have always been to take care of others, nurture our children, and keep our families together. Now we are shifting into greater roles and wanting deeper purpose in our lives. We are like strong Oak trees that grow tall and strong with branches that reach further and further. Yet, at some point we have to feed and fertilize ourselves in order to stay strong and grow taller toward the sky.
In the process I have found myself letting go of the worries of what others think and the drama around me. It is more peaceful, yet lonely at times. When we let go of our perceptions of the past to form new ones, it is scary, yet we become free to soar. It is not an easy path to take. When we begin to shift and grow others around us can become more fearful. The ground can begin to tremble and our foundations can crack a bit. It is ok!! The tremors are normal, the cracks fill in and the ground below becomes stronger to give us a better foundation to rebuild stronger and become more stable.
The first step that I took to nurture myself was to write down the top ten things that I LOVE to do…even if I wasn’t doing them at the time. I didn’t hold back. Try it for yourself…your list could have things such as taking bubble baths, traveling, dancing, making love, having lunch with girlfriends, laughing with your kids, etc. One of mine is fine dining and drinking fine wine. Take a look at what you are doing on that list on an on going basis. If it is nothing or only a few, figure out what it will take to do one of those things this week, another next week. If it is a big thing, such as traveling, etc. then set a goal to make that happen this year. The key is to start doing more for you. There is no better time than now. You will find more fulfillment, peace, and balance in your life when you begin taking time out for you.
Step two…start doing the things you love and work towards living the life you truly want deep down inside.
One of my favorite quotes is “My life…is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.”
-Gilda Radner
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